is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
