Kareoke will never be a sober sport
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
