I must be too annoying 4 u.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
