Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
