I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
