a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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