ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
