i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
