I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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