its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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