So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
