I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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