she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
