this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize