and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
