Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
