My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
