To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
