If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
