Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
