Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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