Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I think my moral compass just broke
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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