Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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