Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
