As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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