i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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