Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
