holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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