i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize