Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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