I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
