is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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