Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
