This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
