His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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