so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
