So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize