yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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