He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
