Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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