she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
