as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
