Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Nobody cheats on THIS.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
