Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
