ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
