so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
