I want to have your abortion
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
