You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize