Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
