I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
