I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
