new low.... made out with someone while peeing
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
