I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
