woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize