just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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