your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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