i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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