areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
please come you make the beer taste better
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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